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About sex

Wants and needs

Feeling horny, and wanting and needing sex, varies from person to person but several factors are usually in play: we're hard wired to have sex, it feels good, and we have positive memories from past sexual experiences which often inform our sexual future. For example, if you've had great sex with a guy with a particular build, body scent, hair cut, uniform or clothing style, it can be surprising how often we will make a bee-line for that 'type' of man again.

Throughout our sexual lifetime we accumulate a fantastic library of memories and triggers that guide us to new and (hopefully) satisfying experiences – even if it’s a different man, in a different place, months or years later. Conversely, we should bear in mind some men can become understandably nervous if they recognise something from a negative sexual experience – they don’t want to go there again and the associated memory is warning them accordingly.

While the MEN R US team don't have a monopoly on why we have sex, here are some reasons we came up with over tea and biccies.

"I was horny."
"It felt good."
"I was stressed."
"It was fun."
"I wanted pleasure."
"I was lonely."
"I wanted to experiment."
"I wanted to feel good about myself."
"I just wanted to cum."
"I felt obliged."
"It was just one of those things."
"I wanted adventure and excitement."
"He really wanted me."
"It paid well."
"I couldn't help myself."
"I really wanted him."
"Revenge."
"His [insert here] really turned me on."
"I wanted to show affection and express my love."
"Jealousy."
"I desired intimacy and emotional closeness."
"I'll never get an opportunity like this again."
"It's been ages."
"I realised I was in love."
"Reputation."
"Peer pressure."
"I don't remember."

Whatever the reasons (and we're hoping they're 'good' ones) spare a thought for whether you are ready emotionally and physically. For example, some men are ready and willing to be intimate with other men while others can be physically intimate without making or experiencing emotional connections. Others, again, prefer a level of emotional bonding before having sex. More of this later.

Archives of Sexual Behavior: Why Humans Have Sex; Cindy M. Meston, David M. Bus
List of 237 reasons why people said why they have sex which comes from a University of Texas study published August 2007

 Let's Talk About Sex | Crash Course Psychology #27 | 18 Aug 2014 | 11m35s

We Know What You're Thinking | Three Flying Piglets for MEn R US | 2017 | 1m01s

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