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Coming out to yourself

Why do I want to come out?

This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you answer something like...

  • "Because I’m proud of who I am", or
  • "It is impossible to be fully happy if my sexuality remains hidden" or
  • "I want to meet other gay people like me"

... then these are good reasons. If you’re doing it principally to shock or hurt people, think again. The person who gets hurt could be you.

Benefits of coming out

  • A relief to unload the secret you have been keeping
  • You no longer have to live a lie and can live as you want to live
  • Feel better about yourself and improve your confidence and self esteem
  • Develop closer, more genuine relationships with friends and family
  • It can be easier to make gay friends, date and have relationships
  • You won't be afraid of people finding out any more
  • All of the above will not happen at once

Considerations when coming out

  • Not everyone will be understanding or accepting
  • There may be negative reactions and/ or rejection
  • People may treat you differently
  • People may not listen, understand or take what you are saying seriously
  • People may try talk you out of it
  • Your personal safety may be at risk
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