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Sex and doing it

Rimming

Rimming is the stimulation of the arsehole with the tongue including licking, kissing, sucking and/ or pushing the tongue inside. Teasing it open with the tongue, rimming relaxes the arsehole - preparing it for a finger, or cock if fucking is where you're heading. Equally, many guys enjoy rimming in its own right, as a standalone sexual activity.

For most of us, our arse is a massive erogenous zone. The arsehole and surrounding area is packed with nerves, highly sensitive to stimulation. The same goes for tongue (and lips) so the combination can make us feel both horny and sexy. The pelvic floor muscles are also located here which play a key role in sex and contract when you cum. Rimming stimulates these muscles and can heighten sensations significantly.

At a very young age we are taught to dispose of shit neatly and we are not encouraged to talk about one of life’s messy taboos. And yet, while the anal area exemplifies everything we're told about as dirty and/ or unclean, it is also one of the most pleasurable and sensitive parts of the body.

Rimming - together with other arse-related activities - breaks this strong taboo and through the sex we have we get over it through necessity, understanding and knowledge. Also, we should not forget we can draw great emotional strength from the acceptance we show each other during sex. Rimming involves acceptance of a taboo and this mutual acceptance can be immensely powerful, intensifying the experience.

Although men often prefer a freshly washed arse, others find the taste, smell and musk of a sweaty arse crack a huge turn on. Getting your partner in the right mind-set to receive, or doing the same for yourself, is crucial. And if your partner has not (been) rimmed before a little patience with some gentle encouragement will go a long way.

Find a position that is comfortable to you when you're rimming. These would be some of the more popular: bent over on your hands and knees, lying on your back with your legs in the air, flat on your stomach, or straddling (sitting over) his face.

How you rim is completely up to you and many of us develop our own style and techniques. If you're new to rimming you may find the following tips helpful though above all: listen to your man, listen to his breathing, listen to his grunts and groans and whimpers as these will be your compass:

  • Gently run your fingers down your partner's back until you reach the top of his arse crack
  • Run a finger down the crack barely touching it working your way round to his balls
  • Parting his arse cheeks work your way around the arsehole gently, working your tongue into the crack
  • Using circular movements, darting movements, flick your tongue in and out of his hole
  • Your tongue should be able to feel the difference between the skin around the arsehole and the muscle going into the hole
  • While rimming can be tantalisingly gentle, it can also be very passionate. Some guys love a light tongue touch while others prefer a more energetic approach
  • A guy's body will often contract and relax, and he might also push his arse towards you and rotate his hips. This means you're doing a great job!
  • 'Humming' is when you push your face into his arse and moan/ hum. It's surprising how many guys haven't experienced this sort of vibration which can be very sensuous. Equally he may ask you if you said something!
  • Depending on the size, shape and firmness of his arse you may or may not need to use your fingers to spread his cheeks so you can get in there
  • Don't forget those inches often overlooked between the base of his balls and his arsehole. For many guys this is a super sensitive area, particularly if your tongue can flick his balls
  • If you do get to a point where a finger is an option remember that skin can be a lot rougher than you think so wet it with plenty of spit or lube. It comes with practice but it's worth thinking about the sort of lube you may use when rimming. Some lubes are relatively neutral, while others are pretty foul tasting
  • Bear in mind that if you are rimming a complete top a tongue may be all he wants or needs... and he may get stroppy if you try putting anything else up there
  • Your tongue will get tired so you're perfectly entitled to breaks!
  • Don't forget to breathe!

Or, as one guy said "Rim the arse off me then drill for oil!"

How risky is rimming? |GMFA
Rimming | NAM Aidsmap
Anilingus (Rimming) | Wikipedia

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