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Sex and doing it

Cock sucking

There can’t be many gay men who haven’t sucked a guy off or been sucked off. Also known as a blow job, giving head, and oral sex, cock sucking is as common as it is versatile and can be done virtually anywhere and in any position. While it can be a prelude to fucking, it’s also immensely satisfying in its own right. If you’re short of time and fancy a ‘quickie you don’t have to get undressed, which is why it is often the preferred choice for sex in cruising areas and back rooms. Cock sucking should be a pleasure and not a chore and if you don’t enjoy it (either way) then it’s something guys notice quite quickly.

  • Guys being sucked will usually send out signals to what feels best: grunts, groans, sighs... and verbal instructions if he’s pushy.
  • It may not always be possible to take a whole cock without gagging, a perfectly natural reflex to rid yourself of something ‘stuck’ in your throat. Eventually your body learns that in this particular instance this is an exception.
  • An erect dick stands about 45° upwards and the angle between your mouth and throat is about the same. This is one reason why it can be difficult to take a dick in your mouth particularly if you’re on your knees in front of the guys. If circumstances allow (if you’re in bed for example) turn yourself around so that the dick offers less resistance in the mouth and throat.
  • Cock sucking uses muscles that don’t get much other use: with practice you’ll last longer. If you get tired, take a break (have a Kit-Kat) and suck his balls instead.
  • Your tongue can also stimulate the shaft and the head of the cock although some guys can find this overly sensitive.
  • His dick is not a snack: ensure that you don’t use your teeth. The cock is tender and can be scratched and cut by teeth, braces, and sharp fillings. If you’re wearing dentures, make sure they are fixed.
  • Putting a thumb and forefinger around his dick will give you some control over how much you suck at any one time. Some guys will just want to fuck your mouth and this can be uncomfortable, particularly if they put their hands around your head and pull you (repeatedly) on to the dick. If you’re not ready or if it’s not what you want, this can be a real turn off as his dick plays jack-hammer.
  • Knowing if your partner wants to cum in your mouth can be difficult to assess but if you hear pre-cum moans or something along the lines ‘...I’m gonna cum baby, take my load’, you can take it as read. Such a warning allows you to disengage – but get out of the way, or he may cum over your face or in your eyes, which will sting.
  • And finally, some guys also like having their arsehole played with while they’re given a blow job.

Tea bagging

From what we can ascertain 'tea-bagging' is an expression from the USA, and means taking the balls into the mouth and sucking, nibbling and licking. It's only getting a footnote here as we Brits believe this falls under cock sucking and is part of oral sex. If anyone differs on this learned point, please let us know.

It can be very horny in its own right, great foreplay, and safe. If his ball sack is large, or your mouth is small, consider taking one ball in your mouth at a time if you want to get your tongue around it. And if the sack is hairy be mindful of stray hairs!

Tea bagging | Wikipedia

How safe is oral sex?

It’s fair to say that the question of HIV transmission through cock sucking has given HIV prevention workers more headaches than any other sexual activity. While the risk is generally described as ‘low’ or ‘very low’, transmission has occurred. More recently, experts are now saying that there is an increased risk of HIV transmission from oral sex, particularly if gonorrhoea is also present. Quite understandably, two of the most frequent questions asked are: is there a risk and how risky is it?

Let’s go back to basics: for HIV transmission to occur, the virus has to be present and it has to get into the bloodstream. Your mouth is lined with a membrane which is usually waterproof and protects us in very much the same way that skin does on other parts of our body. However, we all get cuts and nicks in our mouth and there are times when we have sores, ulcers and bleeding gums, particularly after we’ve brushed our teeth. If HIV is present in cum or pre-cum, it poses a risk of infection.

So the answer to the first question is yes, there is a risk. HIV transmission from oral sex is much less frequent than from unprotected fucking, but it’s impossible to know exactly how much lower. Factors to consider include how much of the virus is present, its strength and the presence of cuts, sores, or abrasions in the mouth and throat. These are impossible to measure unless, by chance, you have a laboratory in the bedroom which is why sexual health advice on cock sucking is based on reducing the risk involved.

The following guidelines reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections such as gonorrhoea and hepatitis.

  • Clean and floss your teeth regularly and properly – but not directly before sex. Brushing your teeth just beforehand increase the likelihood of bleeding gums or cuts.
  • Bigger dicks are more likely to graze the membrane lining your mouth and throat.
  • If you have a sore mouth, bleeding gums or mouth ulcers, don’t suck until it has healed.
  • Attend dental check-ups at least twice a year.
  • Attend sexual health check-ups at least three times a year.
  • Consider pulling out if you taste pre-cum.
  • Don’t let him cum in your mouth.

So much has been written about oral sex and some will argue these bullet point are 'too strict' so we suggest you use the links below and/ or ask about it at your next sexual health check-up.

How risky is oral sex? | GMFA
Suck It! | GMFA FS #147
Oral sex | NAM Aidsmap
HIV and sex: oral sex (booklet) | NAM Aidsmap
Semen in the eye | NAM Aidsmap
Oral sex | Terrence Higgins Trust

Oral Sex Tips (1st Part) | Davey Wavey | 1 Dec 2011 | 2m03s

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